Review: Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side (Beth Fantaskey)

Title: Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side
Series: Jessica, Book 1
Author: Beth Fantaskey
Publisher: HMH BYR
US Release Date: February 1, 2009
Genre: Young Adult Paranormal Romance
Content Rating: Older Teen (strong sensuality, sexual innuendo, language, violence, bullying, attempted murder)
Format Read: Paperback
Find On: Goodreads
Purchase: B&N | BookDepo | Indiebound | Azon
Summary:

The undead can really screw up your senior year . . .

Marrying a vampire definitely doesn’t fit into Jessica Packwood’s senior year “get-a-life” plan. But then a bizarre (and incredibly hot) new exchange student named Lucius Vladescu shows up, claiming that Jessica is a Romanian vampire princess by birth—and he’s her long-lost fiancé. Armed with newfound confidence and a copy of Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire’s Guide to Dating, Health, and Emotions, Jessica makes a dramatic transition from average American teenager to glam European vampire princess. But when a devious cheerleader sets her sights on Lucius, Jess finds herself fighting to win back her wayward prince, stop a global vampire war — and save Lucius’s soul from eternal destruction.

*          *          *

Series: This is the first in a two-book series, both released and available. There is also a 1.5 short story.

In the mid-to-late 2000s, I (like most of the reading world) became rather obsessed with teen vampire novels. Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. Vampire Kisses. Twilight. I devoured anything in the Young Adult section with a vampire in it, and Beth Fantaskey's Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side was a particular favorite. A copy has been in my collection for many years, and when I recently came across it while reorganizing my shelves I decided to give it another read.

To my surprise and dislike, it was not what I remembered - although I must admit I apparently remembered little to nothing about the book. It began all right as Lucius appeared and tried to woo Jessica, although his arrogance and snobbery grated a bit while her naivety and pigheadedness quickly grew tiresome. But the literal second she started to feel something for him, he pushed her away and treated her horrendously - and despite his mistreatment and flagrant physical relationship with an evil fellow student, Jessica continued to fall harder for him without a sliver of good reason. Aside for his gentlemanly manners and handsome features, Lucius displayed almost no redeemable qualities for Jessica to be attracted to, so for most of the book I was rather disgusted with her pining and continual forgiveness of his appalling behavior. Lucius's childhood abuse at the hands of his family could have been a strong connection for them - soothing the wounded beast and all that - but it was a card rarely used and badly played and really went nowhere. To top it all off the end was really rushed, and although Jessica did show a degree of strength and courage it seemed fueled about 5% by duty and 95% by vampiric lust. With more length it might've been a decent conclusion, but instead it just happened and the book ended abruptly.

And then there was the unique vampire twist: males automatically become a vampire on their own when they come of age, but females require a male's bite to fully turn. While Lucius did treat Jessica with a great deal of respect (although she was a princess so it's only good manners), and Jessica was accepted as the head of her family without a mention of gender, the ruling Elders we met were all male, and I got the feeling that females were considered primarily as easy sources of food and mating. Since this book featured a female main character that grew into a strong leader, having the rules so gender-imbalanced was an unfortunate element I found off-putting.

So did I like anything about it? ...Not much. The beginning was okay despite Lucius's attitude and Jessica's stubbornness, and they had some decent scenes and banter when he wasn't being horrid. I admittedly had a hard time putting the book down and read it in just a few days, but that might have been because it was a bit like watching a house burn and being unable to look away - the house being my happy memories of loving the book so much before only to now be horrified as that love burned away a little more with every page. Jessica did show some strength in the end, but I wish we had spent more time admiring it before she gave in to her hormones.

Conclusion: Although a previous favorite of mine back in the vampire craze days, this is one of those books I have clearly grown out of. Only recommend for older teens and up (due to strong sensuality and sexual innuendo, as well as language) who enjoy vampires in unhealthy romantic relationships.

Scribble Rating: 

2.5 of 5 Scribbles

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