Thursday, December 15, 2011

Home Is Where The Heat Is

After such an amazing yet astonishing rain day this week (it was awesome! XD), I started pondering why I live in a place like Central Arizona, where rain days (my favorite type of day) are considered "amazing" and "astonishing" instead of "normal." So I decided to create my "Cons & Pros List of Central Arizona":


1. The summers are HOT. As in melt your shoe soles to the pavement. As in fry an egg on your dashboard. As in barbeque your brain into a gooey mess. It may be a dry heat, but you'll still collapse if you're outside more than two seconds in one of our many 120-degree days. Whoever's idea it was for human beings to live here year-round, I hope they died a slow, painful death out in the desert with a dry canteen and no hat.

2. It hardly ever rains. And NEVER snows. Snow? What's snow? I've heard of the phenomenon, but it's been so long since I've seen it I question it's existence. And as for rain, this year has to be one of the driest on record. When we finally had a real rain day this week, no one knew what to do with it. No one carried (or probably even owned) an umbrella. They would either stand inside the shops staring out with bewildered looks, completely at a loss how they were supposed to get to their cars, or they walked through it like it wasn't even there - rain zombies, completely oblivious that they were getting soaked. I, on the other hand, ran about in it with my plaid umbrella, shivering yet grinning.

3. It's BROWN. Sure we have our own greens (heck, most cactus are green), but they are majorly bleached out, and who can enjoy anything, green or otherwise, under the blinding sun? On the very rare days it's overcast, it's like I've been transported to a whole other world where I don't have to squint to see everything. Or it's like I've been blind, and oh look! That big brown smudge over there was a mountain! I never would've guessed.

4. It's really spread out. I dream of places like NYC, where within a few-block radius of your apartment you can buy groceries, pick up a pizza, purchase books, try on clothes, and take a stroll in the park. Here, a few-block radius might get you a QT, if you're really lucky. To get anywhere you actually want to go, you have to drive. And of course Arizona is populated with crazy people who drive like maniacs out for your soul. Bonus Points if you can sideswipe the Honda! *swerve*

5. Winter clothing is NOT an option. Sure there's enough of a chill outside to warrant long sleeves and a thin jacket, but once you head inside? You'll wish you'd never heard of long sleeves the heat is so sweltering. It's not cold enough outside for a person to need to thaw out inside before heading out again. And yet, during the winter? All the clothing there is to purchase is for Alaska weather conditions. (A parka? Really?) Clothes shopping in winter if you're not traveling = useless.


1. Beautiful, mild winters. They really are gorgeous. People live her for the "chill without snow" factor, which I have to admit is nice. You can still go around in short sleeves and sandals if you have a light jacket and don't mind a little nip. And this girl loves the nip! XD

2. Arizona bookstores. Our bookstores are pretty awesome. We have Bookmans (eat your heart out other 49 states ;), which sells only used media and has a really nice selection most of the time. Then we have Changing Hands, which has a pretty good new/used selection but it's the awesome guests and programs they run almost constantly that have put them on the map. If an author is coming to Central Arizona, most likely it will be there - or Poisoned Pen, our other independent bookstore that I don't get to often but know it's the other place to be seen if you're an author. Needless to say, I haunt these places whenever possible.

And... yeah, that's about all the Pros I can come up with. Sad, isn't it? Why do I still live here?! Oh yeah, I can't afford to move...

What are the pros and cons of where you live?


  1. *SNORT*

    Yeah, we had to move from the city that was awarded "The Happiest Place in America" (San Luis Obispo, CA) to dry, dirty, Mesa almost 2 years ago because, apparently, money *is* what buys happiness. Or at least, what enables you to stay in the Happiest Place in America. And we had no money to afford happiness. So we moved out here, where everything on your cons list equals Really Cheap Everything. It's working out OK, but I'm seriously missing the stormy sea, weeks of rain, and green. Oh, how I miss green. But my balcony view of the Superstition Mountains is starting to grow on me...

  2. Summers suck everywhere. It's really just an awful season. How do you manage never wearing long sleeves? It's the best thing in the world to curl up in a hoodie and blanket when it's cold outside.

    I could never live anywhere hot. I think I would die from heatstroke just thinking about it. I live near Philadelphia, and even that's too hot for me. I dream of Upstate New York and Canada! I'll send you some snow. =P

    I do, however, love the sun.